February 12,2009

With me just having a baby and getting married you think i would be happy. But to be honest i am far from being happy. I have been throutgh so much in my life, i got pregnant when i was a senior in high school and i got married when i was 18. I think it was all way to early. Everything seems not to be working my way. I cry myself to sleep almost every night, i cant get a grip on myself. Im on depression medicine, sleeping pills and anything else that you can think off. Im unhappy with the way i look that i was trying to make myself skinny by puking. I have tried everything to fix this and i guess it doesnt help that my husband is in the military so it seems like i am living my life by myself. Tonight we got into a fight about getting a dog. Because when i moved away from my mom and family to be with my husband i had to leave my dog. He was my everything, he was pretty much my friend. Sounds retarded i know. But ever since i have left him my depression has taken a big dive. I think having a dog would help me alot. I take care of everybody else, never me. Sometimes i even forget to eat and sleep, its just that bad,